Why am I doing to my children, what, as a child, I did not like my parents to do to me.
This is somewhat similar to ragging (forces of violence and abuse) that we went through at IIT Mumbai. As a fresher, first year student, we would dread it. As a second year student, we would try and protect the freshers from such harassment by seniors, while keeping them busy in minor discomforts. And finally, in third and fourth year of studies, we would indulge in ragging which would include all the sufferrings we have gone through + x, arguing the benefits (which I truly believe, exists to certain extent) of ragging. Over years, these methods could become very perverse without anyone objecting to it as there has only been incremental damages.
If I was to look at the evolution from Darwin's viewpoints and go back to stone-age baby.
The stone-age baby when comes into contact with the twenty-first century mother (father is no different), is subject to "parental loving" in effect, forces of violence as its mother and father have been + x, and their parents + x and their parents before them + x and so on in a long(if not infinite) loop. Love changing incrementally little bit in every generation.
It either destroys the baby's inherent potentialities or moulds it into a socially acceptable being. For some parents, the later may be true. Most of the parents would feel that they have failed in the later. If that be the fact, there is all the likelyhood of parents destroying the inherent potentialities.
Whether we like it or not, let us accept, for a child to succeed in its potentialities, the "parental loving" need to fail.
"To freely bloom - that is my definition of success. "
-Gerry Spence, How to Argue and Win Every Time
4 comments:
Doesn't society (hence social acceptability) itself grow incrementally? What was taboo some years ago is considered OK today!
I wonder if parents tend to think of socially acceptable as "What was socially acceptable in my generation"
because the feedback that they get is from "society" that belonged to their generation or higher!
How will the generation gap ever decrease?!
I guess communication could be the tool. Understanding the communication may be a difficult aspect, though. As the language (not English) and the words mean differently to different generations.
Personally, I have found blogging is a good tool. For one, noone knows which generation is talking what. Secondly, every reader reads the comments with his or her perspective in mind, giving it the meaning that suits the generation that reader belongs.
So, the words could be of the blogger, but the meanings could be tthat of the reader.
I guess, this is getting complex.
In short, blogging could reduce the gen gap.
I also believe it takes a certain amount of openness in the parent-child relationship for the doors of communication to open.
Blogging is an escape in many ways because of the anonymity it provides. It is a way of saying things that my parents would not like to hear!!
So, IMHO, if my parents would be more approachable and understanding, if they understood my reasons for doing things and gave me good advice/ideas, I could talk to them directly :-) and thats where I think the solution lies!
PS: I really admire you for being so open on your blog.. Few people have the courage to accept/reveal their emotions in an open arena!
I agree. the key lies in the relativeness among the generations of "parents being more approachable and understanding" and parents feeling the same thing about children.
That's why direct talks would fail to materialise mostly and blogging become the best way to express oneself.
Thanks.
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